How to develop high emotional intelligence

In life, you should often hear people say how high a person’s IQ is and how enviable they are. In fact, if a person wants to survive in the world, it is not only necessary to have a high IQ, but also a high EQ is very important. Because emotional intelligence is the most important aspect in dealing with people and things. However, not everyone is born with high emotional intelligence. They need to develop their emotional intelligence in daily life. So how can we develop high emotional intelligence?

How to develop high emotional intelligence? Three steps:

1. Correctly understand your emotions.

Scientific experiments have proven that when people face stress and are overly nervous, the blood in the cerebral cortex becomes thinner, while the heart rate increases to more than 100 beats per minute, and the secretion of adrenaline increases greatly. Under this physiological state, psychological changes will also occur accordingly.

At this time, people with different emotional intelligence will behave differently: rational people can think about problems calmly and behave properly; while impulsive people will have a blank brain, behave crazily, and speak without thinking.

That is to say, it is normal to have emotions when you are faced with conflict, but you must realize that you are surrounded by emotions.

2. Manage your emotions properly.

When your emotions are about to explode, a willful person will act on impulse and may not even know what he is saying or doing; but a mature person will effectively adjust, control, and organize his emotions. Because he knows: simply venting emotions will not solve any problems.

For example, if you are arguing with each other, it may be a very effective action if you can shut up in time. If you can't calm down in time, please try the following three actions:

1. Breathe in and out slowly and deeply, then inhale and exhale again until you are able to calm down.

2. Self-suggestion: I need to calm down, I must calm down, I am calming down. It's no big deal.

3. Take a hot bath and massage your temples while showering. At this time, the blood in your cerebral cortex will be replenished and you will be able to return to rationality.

3. Accurately perceive the other person’s emotions.

The ability to perceive the other person's emotions is undoubtedly an important factor in building a good intimate relationship. Moreover, only by accurately perceiving the other person's emotions can one more effectively reflect on one's own words and actions, thereby improving one's ability to self-regulate, manage, and express emotions.

When the other person has abnormal facial expressions, voice quality, timbre, speaking speed and tone, and body language, it is an outward manifestation of his or her emotional changes. But sometimes facial expressions can be disguised, voice and intonation are easy to train, but body movements are more unconscious.

For example, when you are narrating something with great interest, you find that the other person starts to make some small movements: scratching his scalp, yawning, looking around, etc. At this time you should realize that he/she is not interested in your topic.

If you practice to the point where you can not only manage your own emotions but also accurately perceive and take care of the other person's emotions, your lover will have more pleasure when getting along with you, and you will become a perfect lover who can provide higher emotional value.