​The impact of adults' quarrels on children

In a normal marital relationship, not all couples get along well. There will always be frictions, because there will always be some differences between two people in the process of getting along, and if these differences are relatively large, they will turn into quarrels. Quarreling is something that happens in many families, but when quarreling, adults often do not pay attention to their children's emotions. So what impact will adults' quarreling have on children?

1. Parents quarreling will make children feel lonely

Parents who are quarreling will only stare at each other and completely ignore the children around them. Even if the children are crying, shouting, or pulling their fists next to them, they will completely turn a blind eye. This will make the children feel deeply lonely after being ignored.

This bad feeling can easily become ingrained after parents have quarreled many times and experienced it many times.

When the child grows up, any little stimulation will trigger this feeling of loneliness.

Humans are social animals, and what they can't stand the most is loneliness. Loneliness can make people crazy. The pain that this loneliness, which has accumulated since childhood and is deep in the bone marrow, brings to people can be imagined.

Second, parents quarreling will make children live in depression

Whether the parents are quarreling or after the quarrel, the family atmosphere is terrible. In such an environment, the child dare not act coquettishly, act wild, or even speak out.

But in fact, after parents quarrel, the anger, fear and other emotions that children suffer are no less than those of the two parents.

But the child cannot and dare not vent his emotions, so he can only suppress it.

Repression means that emotions cannot be digested and are swallowed hard, so it is bound to be harmful.

3. Parents’ quarrels will make children afraid of conflicts with others.

Conflict is not necessarily a bad thing in modern society, because people have to stick to their own opinions and sometimes conflicts with others are inevitable.

If handled well, conflict can turn into healthy communication;

If not handled properly, the conflict can turn into an argument, but at least it is a form of expression;

The most frightening thing is not expressing oneself. Even though there is a conflict, one is afraid to relive the scene of parents quarreling in childhood, so he dare not put forward his own ideas.

Such people will find it difficult to achieve success in their careers, and will live passively in life, not daring to open their hearts to the people around them.

4. Parents’ quarrels will make it difficult for children to establish close relationships when they grow up.

Many children who grow up in a quarrelsome environment will be afraid of marriage or even unable to fall in love when they grow up.

The reason is that they often witness their parents quarreling, which makes them have no confidence and expectations in intimate relationships.

Even if you meet someone who loves you, you don’t know how to give love back.

The original families of some leftover men and women belong to this category.

5. Parents’ quarrels will make children feel guilty

When parents quarrel, children will naturally blame themselves, thinking that they caused their parents to quarrel.

Therefore, if parents have a rare quarrel and the child sees it, they must tell the child afterwards that the quarrel has nothing to do with him and give the child some guidance.

Of course, if parents often have heated arguments in front of their children and then just explain it like this, it will be of no use.

Back to the guilt.

What's the biggest problem a child will have when he lives with guilt? Low self-esteem.

A child with low self-esteem will belittle himself endlessly. Once something good happens, he will feel that he is not worthy of it. How can he talk about mental health with such a life?

6. Parents’ quarrels will make children feel insecure

Frequent and long-term quarrels between parents will make their children live in worry, worrying that their parents will divorce or abandon them.

So, a lack of security is almost certain.

A sense of security is the most basic human need. Without a sense of security, it is difficult for children to do other things well.

If a sense of security is severely lacking, children will even lose faith and hope in life.

In the eyes of children, parents are their heaven. When parents quarrel, it is undoubtedly the sky falling for the children. Therefore, all parents, before quarreling, please take a few seconds to think about your children. How much they long for a loving, warm and harmonious home.