I'm about to get married but found it's not suitable

A man and a woman are together not only because they love each other, but also because they feel that they are very suitable for each other. However, some people find that they are not suitable for each other when they are about to get married. At this time, they should not choose one-sided or two-sided people because of the influence of family members or some social professional ethics. They must communicate and discuss clearly with each other. Only by speaking out their inner thoughts and understanding each other's demands can the problem in this regard be solved.

1. Arguing over the same thing over and over again

When a couple always quarrels over the same thing over and over again, it is like going in circles. It does not solve any problems and will only make them more upset and fall into a vicious circle.

Expert analysis: Behind the quarrels and arguments is fear, because deep down both husband and wife are afraid of being abandoned, rejected, and considered inappropriate. Only when a couple completely trusts each other and loves each other unconditionally will they show their shortcomings. Only by finding the triggers of the conflict and working hard to change it can we avoid arguing over the same thing over and over again.

2. Infect others with pessimism

One husband said, “When I get home from get off work, I feel happy, but my wife is tired and stressed from work. This ruins my mood. I think it’s easier to make someone feel bad than to make them feel good.”

Expert analysis: Low emotions can indeed easily affect each other. However, people can choose not to be affected by their spouse's low mood and make sure to remain optimistic when their spouse is feeling down. Over time, one person's positive and optimistic mood can help the other half get out of the low mood.

Gender

3. Ridicule each other

Some people feel that expressing their feelings is safer than opening up to the other person, however aggressive this may be. Because this may convey emotions such as anger and frustration to the other person without expressing your true thoughts.

Expert advice: Make clear your true thoughts and what you want to say before telling the other person, and never use words that reveal "anger" and "disgust."

4. Worrying too much about the other person’s health

Wives often complain that their husbands "don't take their health seriously," and then feel that they are irresponsible to the family and do not love their wives.

Expert analysis: This is a "coexistence" marriage relationship in which one party feels responsible for the other's health and therefore controls the other, which can be frustrating. Forcing the other person to do something will only lead to mutual dissatisfaction and hatred. Many couples believe that they must be in sync to be happy, but there are huge differences between people, and these differences should be respected.

5. Unequal division of household chores

One party hates a trash can full of trash and is usually proactive in emptying it, but may also feel that they are shouldering too much.

Expert analysis: Although housework is a small matter, both parties should actively take on the responsibility and reach an agreement on the division of housework. If the "housework agreement" is broken, both parties must sincerely admit their mistakes.

6. Family life is too casual

One wife said: "My husband burps and clears his throat all the time, making a lot of noise around the house. It annoys me, but he doesn't seem to mind."

Expert analysis: Family life cannot be too casual. If it is always like this, the other party will feel disrespected. Both parties should show enough maturity and respect.

7. Children’s education issues

One wife said: "We had a disagreement on how to treat our son. My husband wanted to give him more pocket money, but I felt it was unnecessary, and the argument arose from that."

Expert analysis: In this case, you should be pragmatic, sit down, and honestly evaluate the pros and cons of how much pocket money you have. If that doesn't work, then listen to the advice of other friends.