Psychological analysis of people with strong control desire

In daily life, it is very common to see people with strong control desires. They have a strong desire to control their things, feelings, etc. Once they cannot achieve their ideal state, it will affect their life, work, etc., and they may even vent their anger on others. Influenced by their original families, experiences of being deceived, and lack of confidence in themselves, they believe that only by completely controlling the other person can they truly belong to themselves.

1. Influenced by the original family and becoming more controlling

Not everyone has a happy family when they are young. Many people have experienced conflicts between their parents, divorce, or one of their parents cheating when they were young. People who grow up in such families usually have a more or less profound influence on their concepts of love or marriage.

The shadow cast by his parents will continue to exist until he grows up and talks about marriage. He will think that as long as he controls everything, he will not follow his parents' old path, and that as long as he controls everything about his partner, he will be truly happy. However, he does not realize that his behavior will become worse and he likes to control his partner more and more. Even when the other party really cannot stand this way of getting along and wants to break up, he still does not realize how wrong his behavior is.

2. Have you been cheated many times in the past?

I believe that everyone’s first love is pure, beautiful, and sincere, and one should have 100% trust or be 100% sincere to their first love. But we all know that the deeper the love, the more painful it is. Not everyone can love only one person in their lifetime, and not everyone can find the right person as soon as they start dating. Instead, they have to go through countless separations and reunions and change multiple partners before they can find the right person.

During this period, they are more likely to encounter scumbag men or women who took advantage of their trust to deceive them. Only after experiencing betrayal many times will they feel that as long as they control everything about the other person, they can prevent their current partner from betraying them like they did before. It is because they have been hurt in the past, and have been hurt so many times, that they have become a person with a strong desire for control. Using the desire for control to protect themselves from harm is purely a self-protection method.

3. Lack of self-confidence

Not everyone is born with a handsome face, a wealthy family, or a beautiful figure, and these factors may make people lack confidence and even develop an inferiority complex. Such an inferiority complex will make people feel anxious and worried when facing the beautiful things around them and "owning" them.

Then, the more he "owns" these beautiful people and things, the more his inferiority complex will make him feel a sense of crisis all the time, fearing that if he is not careful, the beautiful people and things he "owns" will be snatched away by others. So, in order to grasp and hold on to them, he begins to look at everything closely, fearing that others will snatch his things away even if they take a look.