What to do with dependent personality?

People with dependent personality often find it difficult to integrate into society and life after entering the society. These people lack self-confidence and autonomy, and turn dependence into a habit. The first thing they should do is to get rid of this habit and improve their sense of autonomy.

1. The dependent behavior of dependent personality has become a habit , and treatment must first break this bad habit. Take stock of your own behavior, which parts of it you habitually rely on others to do, and which parts you make your own decisions on. You can keep a record every day for a week, and then divide these events into three levels according to strong self-awareness, medium, and poor, and summarize them every Monday. For events in which you have a strong sense of autonomy, you should insist on doing it yourself when you encounter similar situations in the future. For example, if you wear brightly colored clothes to work one day as you wish, then you should continue to wear brightly colored clothes to work in the future, and don’t give up because of other people’s gossip, until you no longer like to wear such clothes. Although these things are small, they are the breakthrough for you to correct bad habits.

2. For events with medium level of autonomy , you should propose methods for improvement and gradually implement them in future actions. For example, when making a work plan, you listened to your friends' opinions, but you did not appreciate these opinions. You should tell your friends the reasons why you do not appreciate them. In this way, your own opinions will be incorporated into the work plan. As your own opinions increase, you will be able to gradually shift from following the opinions of others to making complete decisions on your own.

3. For events with poor self-awareness , you can use tricky control techniques to gradually strengthen and improve self-awareness. The method of subterfuge is to add a touch of self-creation to the behavior required by others. For example, if you learn from your lover's hints that she likes roses, and you buy her a flower, it seems like you are completing a task. But as you do this more and more often, you will find that doing so will also bring you happiness. If you take the initiative to suggest taking your lover to the botanical garden for the weekend, or take your lover to see a flower arrangement performance, it proves that your sense of autonomy has been greatly strengthened.

4. Dependent behavior cannot be eliminated easily . Once it becomes a habit, you will find it difficult to decide everything by yourself, and you may unknowingly return to the old ways. To prevent this from happening, a simple way is to find a supervisor, preferably the individual you rely on most.