How should lovers get along with each other?

Modern society is a relatively open era. Many men or women have lovers outside of marriage. This is a very common phenomenon in daily life. In fact, the feelings of lovers are mostly a kind of compensation for marital accidents. Lovers can be regarded as friends, but they can also be considered lovers. However, if you want to go longer term, you need to grasp the sense of proportion and keep a sense of scale.

How should lovers get along with each other?

1. The purpose of being together

It is important for lovers to have a clear purpose for being together. Many people seek lovers simply for sex. If this is the case, then one night stand would be enough. Why would we need to have a deeper relationship?

Some people do it for money, so wouldn’t it be better for you to choose to be a mistress?

True lovers should be together for love. First of all, two people must love each other, but they cannot be together every day. They can only create opportunities for themselves to be together for a short time to warm up the emotion or tacit understanding that is missing in the marriage.

The relationship between lovers must go beyond friendship and love. Lovers are together not for the future, not for responsibility, and certainly not for a purpose. The only purpose of lovers being together is to be happy, a kind of virtual communication that transcends real life.

Since you have chosen to be a lover, don't try to squeeze into the other person's family.

2. Maintain a Proper Distance

The biggest difference between lovers and lovers is distance. Lovers are in a relationship where they live together or keep in touch all the time. Lovers are different. Two people must have their own living space and cannot occupy too much of each other's time. This is the only way to keep the relationship fresh for both parties and at the same time, avoid any responsibility.

Therefore, lovers should not meet often or keep in touch regularly. It is best for lovers not to have too many common friends, so as to avoid pressure from people around them and inevitable embarrassment.

Lovers can chat and eat like friends, and even have physical contact that goes beyond that of couples, but don't be too demanding of each other. If being together makes the other person feel tired and burdened, and the sadness outweighs the happiness, then it's time to say goodbye. For example, if you catch a bird, you have to use a small rope to tie it around the neck. It will definitely strangle it to death.

3. Give each other time and space

There is always a world of two people between lovers. No matter how big the matter is, they should put each other first. The private world enjoyed by lovers is usually temporary. After a certain time and place, you must return to the life you belong to. Such a relationship is subtle, and the role changes are extremely abrupt. When you are together, you are husband and wife, and when you separate, you immediately become friends. This instantaneous change requires a relatively high level of quality and cultivation.

Lovers are not a part of each other's daily life, so don't interfere too much in each other's lives. Don't rely on the other person, focus on your own life, and don't be too interested in the other person's affairs. If there is no reason to meet or talk on the phone, you can keep in touch more online or mainly through text messages. Reducing one-on-one interactions such as face-to-face meetings or phone calls can also reduce conflicts and increase remembrance.

4. Know when to speak

It is important to know how to speak properly between lovers. There are some things that, even if you know them in your heart, you don't need to talk about them all the time.

Don't confirm the relationship as lovers, it's best to confirm the relationship as friends. This way, the pressure and responsibility can be reduced for each other.

There can be some sweetness between two people when they are alone, but it is best not to call each other boyfriend or girlfriend.

Always maintain an independent perspective. When you communicate with each other in daily life, don’t be too ambiguous. It’s best to keep it simple and care about each other like friends or colleagues.

You can have a tacit understanding in your mind, but never express your feelings verbally, let alone make any promises. Also don't say anything that could emotionally irritate the other person.

5. Economic discretion

Lovers can give each other gifts, but both parties must support their own lives. If one party is financially dependent on the other, it becomes a situation of keeping a sugar daddy.

Men can pay the bill when dining out or on a date, which is considered polite. Both parties can also agree to go AA tacitly. It is best not to settle every transaction as this can easily hurt feelings.

When giving gifts, try not to give gifts that have too much meaning or that will put pressure on the other person. You can give an expensive necklace, but you cannot give a cheap ring.

Even if one party's financial ability far exceeds that of the other party, financial support should not be given easily.

The greatest tacit understanding between lovers is independence.

6. Spiritual communication

The relationship between lovers may be very close, but they still need to maintain appropriate spiritual communication.

After all, lovers are not lovers, so they don’t need to know each other very well or know each other’s trivial matters.

Show your best side to each other. Even if you are very familiar with each other, it is better to dress up when you meet to let the other person know that you value the time you spend together. Leave some guesses and surprises for each other. Respect between both parties is very important. No matter how familiar you are, don't forget basic courtesy, even if it's artificial.

Always remember that what we give to each other is comfort, not responsibility. You can help each other, but you should choose to avoid it when you can avoid it.

7. Be prepared to separate at any time

The relationship between lovers can be longer and stronger than that between lovers, but there should never be a kind of reliance. Both parties have to live their own lives, and life is fickle.

It is best for lovers not to have any common property, even a dog should not be raised together. If there is no material involvement, it will be relatively easy to separate. The most important thing between lovers is independence and self. The other person is just an aid in life and can never become a part of life.