​Two major reasons for the breakdown of marriage

The breakdown of a marriage is now a common thing, because divorce is no longer rare in this society. If it is a peaceful divorce, everyone is happy. However, many couples often become enemies after divorce, and some even go to court and end up fighting to the death. Why can't two people who once loved each other end up together? We all need to manage our marriages well.

1. Mutual suspicion

The most difficult thing for couples to deal with is mutual suspicion and paranoia, especially for women. For example, if the husband often comes home late, the wife will pay attention to his condition. If the husband cannot explain clearly to his wife, it will arouse his wife's suspicion. Regardless of whether the husband has this problem or not, whether he comes home late for work or for personal reasons, the wife's first sentence will definitely be, "Who did you go on a date with, why did you come home so late?" As soon as the husband comes home, the wife will keep nagging, asking this and that, and then secretly look through his mobile phone to check if there are any unfamiliar phone numbers and disgusting text messages. Even later, when he talks a few more words to the opposite sex, she will become jealous.

This is mainly because you give each other too little space. You should give each other more free space. To live, you need to communicate. You can't live with the door closed. Couples should cultivate their own hobbies, such as dancing, walking, and learning, to make their lives fulfilling. When your life is rich and colorful, you will not blindly focus on each other.

2. Sex as Punishment

When there is a rift between husband and wife, the woman uses sex as an excuse to be stronger than the man. Originally, the couple does not spend the night together, but the wife, with a very stubborn personality, always lies down first wrapped in a quilt. The man then goes to bed and asks for sex in order to make peace, but the woman firmly disagrees.

In fact, mixing negative emotions and sex life together will have a negative impact on sex life. At this time, the husband should ask his wife whether she is feeling unwell, unhappy, or too tired from work, and then give her appropriate comfort. If the wife is in a bad mood or does not want to have sex, do not force it. It is better for the wife to tell her husband her thoughts directly and let her husband know that she is not in the mood for sex because she has not vented her anger. This is not a punishment for her husband. She can get his care and understanding and hope to reach a reconciliation.

3. Divorce Threat

If a friend and his wife have a falling out or quarrel, and they are angry, the husband will say, "I can't live like this anymore, let's get a divorce." The wife will say, "Why did I marry someone like you? I really regret it."

When a couple quarrels, the most taboo thing is to mention the word "divorce". If they confront each other head-on, they may really get divorced on a whim, and regret the consequences afterwards. If they don't do it on a whim, it can easily pose a threat to the other party, and over time, just like the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf", there will be a crisis of trust. Marriage is not just a piece of certificate, it is also a responsibility. Don't treat marriage as a joke.

4. Transform the other party

If the families of both parties get together, the man's family likes to chat, serve food and urge people to drink while eating. They think this makes the meal lively and intimate. However, the girl's family does not like to talk while eating. They pick up dishes that are close to them and use serving chopsticks if they want to eat other dishes. They think this is civilized. Family gatherings often end in disharmony because of this.

Afterwards, the couple must not blame each other, but should let each other change slowly through communication, the two of them should often pass on messages to their families, and slowly move closer to each other, so that the two families will find a new point of convergence. Remember not to have the idea of ​​changing the other person. Doing so is futile and will only cause more trouble.

5. Always asking for things

In life, a couple should share the housework and avoid, "After marriage, I do all the housework by myself, she doesn't even wash the dishes, but she complains that I cut the vegetables into too big pieces, put too much sugar in this dish, and not enough salt in that dish."

Couples should remember this sentence: "No pain, no gain." When you receive love from your partner, you should express your gratitude to him/her with words or actions. For example, when your wife is doing housework, even if you can't help, it's best to stand by and chat with her, saying "thank you for your hard work", so that she feels that the value of her labor is fully recognized by her husband. Of course, if you think of housework as a chore, it's best not to do it. Because the more you work, the worse your mood will be, and you can use this bad mood as a bomb to attack others at any time.

6. Lack of consideration

Lack of tolerance and understanding. Nowadays, many working women have to rush home to cook after a busy day at work. When they are busy in the kitchen, their husbands, who have been scolded by their leaders at work, start to get angry as soon as they come home: "It's so late, why haven't you cooked yet? What have you been doing?"

When you encounter this kind of situation, when the other person loses his temper, you should give him due consideration and understanding. Never confront him. The best "fire extinguisher" is to say "You've worked hard all day, wash your face first, the meal will be ready soon." Of course, what the husband did was very wrong, and he should find a way to put out the fire in time. It would be best to vent his negative emotions outside before going home, do some physical exercise first to let the resentment evaporate with the sweat, or shout a few times in an empty place such as by a creek or in the woods.

7. Harsh words hurt others

In life, it is taboo to use hurtful words to hurt others. For example, if a couple is driving to work together and the man is driving too fast, the woman will scream all the way, "Are you sick? You are overtaking like this. You want to die, but I don't!"

The most important thing for a couple is to respect each other and give each other some room when speaking. Don't be reckless and say whatever you think. Extreme words can be too damaging and will bring pressure and grievances to the other person.

8. No yielding to each other

People often complain that they are exhausted after a week of work and finally look forward to the weekend. "I accompanied him to a social event last weekend, and he should have accommodated me and gone shopping with me this week, but he had a friend get married and insisted on dragging me along."

If everyone were more generous, yielded to each other, and insisted on standing at their own point of view, their perspective on the problem would definitely become very narrow. When conflicts arise, you should be considerate of the other person and think more about him/her. Only then will the other person be considerate of you, and the two of you will naturally be able to find a harmonious entry point.

9. Ignoring Your Husband

After the couple lived a sweet life, a baby was born. After having the baby, the wife only cared about the child and ignored the existence of her husband. She put all her thoughts on the child, wanting to raise the child well, and even became more emotionally attached to the child. This makes the husband feel like an outsider. Apart from the children, is there still a place for him in his wife's heart?

In fact, this is not the case. If both husband and wife take care of their children and focus on them, when the children grow up, the couple should not focus all their attention on their children. In life, the husband and wife should be the center, and only a family with three pillars is the most stable. Once a husband is unsatisfied and does not receive the care and consideration from his wife for a long time, he will seek emotional support outside, which can easily lead to an affair and put the couple's relationship in crisis.

10. The Prolonged Cold War

Some couples do not communicate with each other after quarreling, and maintain a long-term cold war. Some even do not say a word for two months. The husband does not take the initiative to make peace, and the wife wants to make peace, but the husband ignores her. "After returning home, the husband sits in front of the computer to chat online or play games, and ignores his wife at all."

In fact, the breakdown of many relationships and marriages begins with indifference. Indifference is the most terrible thing in marriage life. If the cold war lasts too long, one party will get tired of this state and unilaterally show the "free war card", either choosing to escape or throw himself into the arms of a new confidant. Never, never