Four key points of effective communication skills

To put it simply, communication means talking to each other. It can be said that everyone can communicate, but now communication is not only the way we deal with each other every day, but also a skill of ours, especially for people in the workplace. Effective communication can make our work more efficient. But many people often get into trouble in communication. If we want to communicate effectively, what skills do we need to know?

Master communicators make listening to and understanding others their first goal before trying to get others to listen and understand them. If you listen carefully, the other person will open up to you. The first step to understanding someone's inner world is to listen carefully. Allowing the other party to speak freely and listening carefully before stating your own views to convince them is a shortcut to solving problems.

(1) The role of listening in communication

1) World sales champion Joe Girard was selling a car to a customer many years ago and the transaction went very smoothly. When the customer was about to pay, another salesperson talked to Girard about yesterday's basketball game. Joe Girard was chatting and laughing with his companions while reaching out to take the car payment. Unexpectedly, the customer suddenly turned around and left without even buying the car. Joe Girard pondered for a day and couldn't understand why the customer suddenly gave up on the car he had already chosen.

At 11 o'clock at night, he finally could not resist and called the client to ask why he suddenly changed his mind. The client told him unhappily on the phone: "When paying this afternoon, I talked to you about my youngest son who had just been admitted to the University of Michigan and is the pride of our family, but you didn't hear a word of it. You were only talking about basketball games with your companions." Girard understood that the fundamental reason for the failure of this business was because he did not listen carefully to the client talking about his proudest thing.

People who know how to listen are most likely to do the right thing, please their bosses, win friendships, and seize opportunities that others miss. Listening carefully and responding to things that the other person is interested in is the greatest respect for the other person and is the core point of communication.

2) Steel magnate John Rockefeller said: "Our policy has always been to listen patiently and discuss openly until every last bit of evidence is on the table before trying to reach a conclusion." Rockefeller was known for his caution and often seemed to be slow to make decisions. He refused to make hasty decisions and his motto was: "Let others talk."

Listening is not only a process of hearing corresponding sounds with the ears, but also an emotional activity that requires conveying a message to the other party through facial expressions, body language and verbal responses - I really want to listen to you, I respect and care about you.

(2) 12 tips for effective listening to help you achieve effective communication:

1) Listening is an active process

When listening, you must maintain a high level of mental alertness and pay attention to the key points of the other person's discussion at all times. Everyone has his own position and values. You must stand in the other person's position and listen carefully to every word he says. Do not use your own values ​​​​to blame or judge the other person's ideas. Maintain an attitude of mutual understanding with the other party.

2) Encourage the other person to speak first

First of all, listening to others is a kind of courtesy. Being willing to listen means that we are willing to consider other people's opinions objectively, which will make the speaker feel that we respect his opinions and help us build a harmonious relationship and accept each other;

Secondly, encouraging the other party to speak first can reduce the dominance and competition in the conversation. Listening can cultivate an open atmosphere and help exchange ideas. The speaker can concentrate on grasping the key points without being busy looking for excuses for his or her contradictions because there is no pressure.

Third, when the other party puts forward his opinion first, you will have the opportunity to grasp the points of agreement between the two parties before expressing your own opinion, making the other party more willing to accept your opinion and making it easier to convince the other party.

3) Don’t talk too much

It's not easy to speak and listen at the same time. Billionaire Fuqua is known for talking less and listening more. He often sits through important business meetings without saying a word from beginning to end. He once told those around him: "There is a reason why God gave us two ears but only one mouth. We should listen more than we speak."

In order to avoid talking too much and losing new ideas, new creativity, and opportunities to develop business, you can use the "burning match method": imagine that you are holding a burning match in your hand. When you think the flame is about to burn your fingers, stop talking and let others respond.

4) Don’t be too boastful or quibbly

If you are an expert on a certain topic, you should still learn to remain silent sometimes and not show off by being pedantic, because it is possible that the person you are listening to may become timid or shy because of your attitude, become inarticulate and become self-protective.