What is the most important thing in marriage life

Most people are bound to get married when they reach a certain age. The relationship of marriage is very delicate, because it is two people who have no blood relationship and live together only relying on love. Therefore, the marriage relationship is a very fragile one at this time, and many married people do not understand what is the most important thing in marriage life. What is the most important thing in marriage?

Many couples get married and become husband and wife, but after living together for a while they feel that they are not happy. Why is this? In fact, this is a problem that every couple will encounter, because they do not know what is the most important thing in married life.

It can be quite dangerous to just play a role in a marriage. For example, when a girl starts to get married and finds someone who gives her a sense of security, she plays the role of "daughter", but she will grow up slowly. If the man always plays the role of "father", if he does not respect her and do what she likes to do, conflicts will arise.

Some men initially want to find a motherly woman, but gradually their inner needs are not satisfied, and they want to find a petite, pitiful woman who plays the role of a "daughter", and the marriage can easily be in crisis.

People have different needs in their hearts. At the beginning, they always play one role, but after a long time, they will want to play another role. In psychology, this is called "wide-angle lens" and "telescope".

A healthy relationship is flexible. It cannot always be a telescope or a wide-angle lens. When my desire to be loved is satisfied, I will have another need, which is the need to love others. People need to switch and balance among such demands.

When your marriage reaches a bottleneck, you hope for a bright future. When you are at the end of your rope, you need to learn. Love is like two circles. If the two circles overlap, I know every thought and every feeling you have, which will be suffocating. If there is no intersection, it will be painful. In a healthy marriage, the two circles intersect. There should be time for spiritual communication, and there should also be one's own space outside.

People have both a need for intimacy and a need for space. When a person's psychological needs need to be cleared, there is a need for space. So we often say that the psychological and emotional needs of two people are like two intersecting circles, with the overlap between them sometimes more and sometimes less.

Maybe when the relationship and life are normal, there is less overlap and there is more space between each other, but in some difficult moments in life, the circles may overlap more, and both people need to face and get through it together.

Love and marriage are like a tango that needs to be danced together, which is very difficult. However, many couples often feel like they are dancing in a dark room, unable to clearly see each other's dance steps and needs.

Either you step on your foot or you hit your wall. A person who has a sense of self-security and knows how to balance will be very flexible. When his lover needs space, he will let him go. When his lover needs closeness, he will not reject him.

In the modern view of love, there must be a concept of commitment. It is not enough to just be able to be a "father" or a "mother". Only by being able to commit can you develop another ability.

If you want a happier married life, you must remember these five sentences:

1. The most precious sentence: "I love you."

When you hear these words, it means you have gained the love of another person. Is there anything in the world that is sweeter, more intoxicating, more joyful and more blessed than being loved? When you say this, it means you have found your ideal lover.

After searching among the bustling crowd, finally one day, your eyes light up: "It's her (him)!" With love, you are no longer lonely; with love, you are no longer confused; with love, you are no longer wandering; with love, you are no longer at ease. Love is a choice, a kind of enjoyment, a motivation and a responsibility.

2. The most comforting sentence: "I'm coming."

Everyone has times when they need help the most. After a tiring week of work, when you want to enjoy a relaxing weekend, you suddenly find that the water pipe in your home is broken. You call the plumber and feel a huge sense of relief when he says, “I’m right here.”

When you are driving on a busy road, your car suddenly stalls, and the cars behind you are lined up in a long line and honking their horns desperately to urge you to drive faster. At this moment, you anxiously call a friend, and when he says, "I'm coming," you feel relieved.