How to make yourself less nervous

Tension is an emotion that many people experience, and most people experience it in some special situations. Nervous emotions have a great impact on a person's performance, especially when giving a speech or being interviewed. So if you want to succeed, you must first overcome your tendency to get nervous, but overcoming nervousness is not an easy thing. How can I stop myself from being nervous?

Psychologists believe that tension is an effective way of responding and a preparation for dealing with external stimuli and difficulties. With this preparation, we can generate the power to deal with ever-changing situations. Therefore, tension is not all bad. However, a continuous state of tension can seriously disrupt the balance of the body and lead to disease. Therefore, we should learn to eliminate tension by ourselves.

How to overcome this nervousness?

1. Reduce inner desires and don't be too concerned about your performance. When people interact with others, they have an inner desire to leave a good impression on others and hide their shortcomings. This is natural. However, if this desire is too strong, they will be very concerned about whether their performance is perfect and outstanding, which will cause tension. When we don't demand that we can satisfy everyone, can tolerate our mistakes or gaffes in interpersonal communication, don't pay too much attention to our performance, but pursue natural communication with others, tension will naturally not occur.

Second, improve self-confidence. Many people with social anxiety lack self-confidence. Improving self-confidence can help eliminate anxiety. There are two principles to improve self-confidence. The first is to reduce negative evaluations of yourself and increase positive evaluations, such as "I am in a good state now", "I am doing great", "others will not look down on me"; the second is to participate in activities or social situations that are easy to succeed. When you are not too anxious when you contact someone, it is a support for your confidence. Through repeated exercises, your self-confidence will become stronger and stronger.

3. Relaxation methods. Deep breathing is the simplest relaxation method. When you feel nervous in social situations, you can temporarily find an inconspicuous corner, take a few deep and slow breaths regularly, and silently say in your heart: relax, relax. The second relaxation method is "imagination relaxation method". Usually imagine yourself in the most relaxing situation, such as walking in a quiet park, or sunbathing on a warm beach, or on the grassland. Practice several times a day. The more realistic and vivid the imagination, the better. When you feel nervous in social situations in the future, you can imagine the scene that you have practiced many times to achieve a relaxed state.

4. Imitation learning. When watching TV or in daily life, you can carefully observe how others use words, expressions, gestures, etc. when they interact with others, and imitate how they treat others, so as to improve your interpersonal skills.

You should learn to think from others' perspective. Sometimes, others don't even notice your actions, but you feel uneasy about it. You should realize that what others think of you is not important to you. Others' ridicule or disdain is because they don't understand you. It is their fault, not yours. You don't need to be responsible for it, and you don't need to explain it to them. You should be responsible for yourself. When you make a choice against your own will to please others, you will have to bear the consequences yourself. Others can't help you. Learning to forgive yourself, make your own decisions, and bear the consequences yourself is a manifestation of courage to take responsibility. Don't dwell on a mistake in a decision or a momentary gaffe.