How to deal with domestic violence for the first time

Many women, after being subjected to domestic violence by their husbands for the first time, will think that he was acting on impulse, and may even decide to forgive him before he even starts to apologize. However, this approach will only encourage his violent behavior. Women should not swallow their anger, but should learn to protect themselves and not allow others to inflict violence on them, even if he is their husband. So how should they deal with the first domestic violence? Let’s talk about the issue of domestic violence.

Why do men beat their wives?

1. Gender discrimination: The vast majority of perpetrators are men who believe in male superiority and female inferiority, and that violence is a reasonable and effective means to force victims to submit.

2. Dual face: The perpetrator uses violence to control his family at home, and behaves in accordance with social standards outside.

3. Excessive jealousy: The offender has an incomprehensible jealousy. Jealousy is the anxiety caused by the jealous person's extreme fear of losing someone's feelings, status or interests.

4. Dependence mentality: Most perpetrators are people who lack self-confidence, self-love, and security. The victims’ submission under violence is one of their means to gain self-confidence and security, so they firmly disagree with divorce.

5. Self-harm or threat of suicide in public: If the victim wants to break up or divorce, the perpetrator will often self-harm or even threaten to commit suicide in order to continue to control and manipulate the victim.

——Source: “Guidelines for the Trial of Marriage Cases Involving Domestic Violence” by the China Institute of Applied Jurisprudence of the Supreme People’s Court

November 25th of every year is the World Day against Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a global social problem. According to surveys, the incidence of domestic violence in my country is between 29.7% and 35.7%, of which more than 90% of the victims are women. Approximately 100,000 families break up due to violence every year.

"When the numb feeling in my fingertips reached my brain, I looked at my hands, at a loss. She stared with her eyes wide open, as if looking at a stranger who had just broken into her house. Fingerprints were clearly visible on half of her face..." This is a man's oral record in "Why I Beat My Wife" (Mu Xiaozi Waiting, published by Chongqing Publishing House in April 2005).

There is a view that men commit violence because women make mistakes. Some even believe that women are "inviting" men to commit violence, which causes them to live in the shadow of violence. There is one principle that must be made clear: no matter what, violence violates women’s bodily rights!