Signs that parents don’t love their children

Many people say that children are the fruit of their parents’ love and the continuation of their parents’ lives. However, in many families, children's ideas and parents' expectations are often contrary to each other, resulting in a disharmonious relationship between children and parents. There are many problems, and parents feel helpless about it. Some children even think that their parents do not love them. This misunderstanding often arises because parents show some signs of not loving their children in their daily lives.

Signs that parents don't love their children

1. Parents have too high expectations for their children

From the moment a child is born, many parents believe that since they have given the child life, everything about the child must be arranged by them. They pin their own unfulfilled dreams or unsatisfied childhood wishes on their children, hoping that their children can realize them. For example, if some parents did not get into college, they will feel in their hearts that their children must be admitted; some parents had a childhood dream of becoming a painter, so they force their children to learn painting since elementary school, hoping that their children can fulfill their unfulfilled dreams. They do not consider what their children like or what is suitable for them, ignore the children's personality development, and always impose their own ideas on their children, treating their children as their own accessories. In the long run, what the child will receive is "Mom and Dad never ask me what I like or what I am willing to do. Everything Mom and Dad do is just for themselves, not for me!"

2. Scolding children instead of praising them

Chinese parents rarely praise their own children, but they are full of praise for other people's children. This is a common educational problem in Chinese families or Chinese-style parents. Many parents always like to remind their children of their shortcomings and ignore their children's progress, "Can't you be faster?", "Look what you drew, how can you draw a butterfly like this!"... The starting point of the parents is definitely for the good of the children, and they hope that the children can correct themselves. Of course, many parents will also praise their children, but their words are vague, either "Well, not bad!" or "Not bad, keep it up!".

Survey data show that parents praise their preschool children a lot, but when the children go to elementary school, parents become more stingy with their praise and the praise for their children becomes downplayed. If parents do not know how to praise and compliment their children and often scold them, the children may not be sure whether their parents love them, because in the eyes of the children, no matter what they do, their parents are not satisfied! If this continues, the child will become less and less confident and unwilling to try anything.

3. The first child is neglected in the two-child family

When the second baby is born, the whole family's attention is definitely on the younger one, and this is when the older baby is most likely to feel lost. Even if the mother wants to take care of the older baby, she cannot get away. The older baby will feel out of favor and think that mom and dad don't love him as much anymore. The first and second baby are like flesh and blood, and parents love them both from the bottom of their hearts! However, we must also pay attention to the details, so as not to let the sensitive eldest child mistakenly think that mom and dad love their younger brother/sister more. Here are some recommended practices for mom and dad:

(1) Don’t neglect your older child in terms of material things. Buy clothes and toys for your younger child as well as some for your older child.

(2) When the second baby falls asleep, mom and dad can take some time to spend more time with the first baby.

(3) When others praise your second child, you should mention your first child more.

(4) After the second child is born, parents should also spend more time taking the first child out to play, and should not let the first child feel that he or she has to sacrifice a lot just to have a younger brother/sister.