People who are competitive are prone to a disease

As the saying goes, people go to high places and water flows to low places. However, in the process of pursuing "upward" development, if you are too impatient and try to act stubbornly, it will inevitably cause harm. Timothy W. Smith, a psychologist at the University of Utah, announced a new research result at the American Psychological Association's annual meeting not long ago: people who are too competitive are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease, thereby shortening their lifespan.

Parents compete, the elderly show off, and drivers compete with each other...

Comparing houses, cars, savings, positions... comparisons are everywhere in life. In order to compete with each other, many people spend a lot of time and effort. The concepts of competition and unwillingness to admit defeat are gradually infiltrating into the consciousness of more and more people. For example, parents love to compare their children's academic performance with those around them; old people who refuse to accept their aging always want to compete with young people, even in physical strength; when driving on the road, someone driving a competitive car may appear at any time, "showing off" his driving skills in a traffic jam, disregarding traffic rules.

Ms. Yang is a mother who likes to talk about "other people's children" all the time. My son didn't learn to speak early. When the little girl of the same age next door could already babble "Ode to the Goose", he was just able to express his own requests more fluently. This caused Ms. Yang, who has always been competitive, to feel psychologically pressured that she is not as good as others. As the son grew up, this pressure not only did not fade, but instead became greater and greater, and the relationship between mother and son was forced to a stalemate. Both of them were anxious about this, but felt powerless.

Unlike Ms. Yang, Mr. Zhang always feels satisfied after comparing himself with others. Mr. Zhang, who is nearly 70 years old, is in good health and wants to compete with young people in everything. When playing basketball with young people, he would make sure to stick to half court. When exercising in the morning, he would make sure to run the same distance as people 20 years younger than him. When there was any heavy work at home, he rarely asked his son to help, and he felt that he was completely capable of doing it. Who would have thought that he would sprain his waist while trying to move things and had to lie in bed for more than half a month.

Competitiveness stems from excessive pursuit of self-worth

Zhang Xuexin said that whether it is parents comparing education, the elderly comparing physique, or being competitive at work, it actually all stems from an original motivation to maintain self-esteem and strengthen self-superiority and sense of value. The resulting external manifestations are face-saving, comparison, and competition.

"Confirming one's own value by comparing with others is a common and normal psychological state, which can bring people a certain sense of security. The emergence of comparison and showing off comes from the overestimation of self-worth." Zhang Xuexin said that everyone has an estimated value for themselves, and this estimated value is usually slightly higher than the actual situation. If it is too much higher, it will trigger one's own competitive behavior, which will have a derogatory effect on others and easily arouse the other party's psychological reflex, and then defend self-worth with a competitive attitude.

Xiao Zhenyu believes that people who are competitive can be divided into two categories: innate and acquired. The innate type mostly refers to people with type A personality. They are "enterprising", like competition, and have high demands in work and life. They are easy to succeed, but also prone to emotions such as pessimism, anxiety, and irritability. The competitive personality formed after birth is related to family conditions. They lack a sense of security when they are young, and as adults they tend to strive to be the best in everything, or place special emphasis on the pursuit of material things and status.

Increased blood pressure, heart attack

From a certain perspective, competitiveness is a defensive mentality. It will cause the brain to mobilize the whole body into a tense state of combat readiness, thereby causing blood to impact blood vessels, heart and brain, and even lead to blood vessel rupture and cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases.

The Northwestern University Medical School conducted a 15-year follow-up survey on 3,300 young people aged 18 to 30. The results found that people with type A personality are more likely to suffer from high blood pressure after middle age. In addition, 85% of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases are related to type A personality; among heart disease patients, type A personality accounts for 98%; the risk of coronary heart disease in type A personality is 5 times higher than that in type B personality. American cardiology experts Friedman and Rosenman found after 4.5, 6.5 and 8.5 years of controlled follow-up statistics that the sudden death rate of the Type A personality group was 4.5 times higher than that of the peaceful Type B personality group.

In his latest research, Timothy W. Smith, a psychologist at the University of Utah, also found that people who are overly competitive will have a significant increase in blood pressure levels when talking with a strong partner; elderly couples with strong personalities have more severe atherosclerosis than those with calm personalities.

Zhang Xuexin added that some irrational behaviors caused by competitiveness can also pose a threat to health and even life. For example, people who drive in a competitive manner are likely to put themselves in greater traffic risks, resulting in casualties; elderly people who try to show off their strength are likely to hurt themselves because they act beyond their ability to bear.

Don't show off, learn to control yourself first

It is not easy to overcome the competitive mentality. Learning to control yourself is the key to solving the problem. At the same time, different adjustments should be made for different situations.

Comparative parents: First, change your mindset and acknowledge that your children have independent growth goals and trajectories. Before facing possible comparisons, you might as well make a plan: if your child is not as good as others, how will the child behave, and what should you do?

Elderly people who are trying to show off their strength: The elderly should adjust their comparison targets. Instead of comparing themselves with young people, they can compare themselves with people of the same age. We also need to strengthen a mindset: growth is inevitable, and strong and weak will always exist.

The aggressive driver: When you become irritated or angry while driving, you should first tell yourself that compared with safety, a little loss is nothing. You can choose to transfer your emotions and vent your dissatisfaction by honking the horn or whispering a few words; or you can put a doll in the car that will scream when you pinch it, and pinch it when you feel emotional, letting the doll take on the responsibility of venting your anger.

Competitive professionals: This type of people should develop a habit of regular fitness, such as practicing Tai Chi, which helps to relax the body and mind. We should learn to adjust our work and rest schedule and start by balancing life and work. It is recommended to use some mobile phone reminder software to help manage your life, such as when to rest, when to get off work, when you are too excited and nervous, when your heart rate is too fast, etc., and then make targeted adjustments.